Thursday, March 30, 2006


Last night I went to the most delicious restaurant for dins - - courtesy of one Jamal Tang (yes, I'll still milking the 'I just got laid off' line) - - only to have the experience ruined by one trip to the bathroom.

If you have a weak stomach, much like my own, please do not read on.

As I stood waiting for the women's bathroom to open up, I noticed a strange smell coming from the men's bathroom which was vacant. So instead of breaking the rules and using the gents, I held out for the much cleaner women's room. Boy did I make a mistake.

The lady before me, not much younger than me, crept out with a sheepish look on her face. That was my first tip something was up. As I entered the bathroom, a smell overtook me that was beyond unpleasant. This person dropped the doodie bomb of the century. I held my breath, forgetting you were supposed to breathe through your mouth and not your nose in a situation like this. And I'm very stubborn, this bitch's foul ass was not going to deter me from doing my business. The bathroom was tiny, and dark, and suffocating...

and then I gave in. Yes, ladies and gents, yours truely was so overcome by the smell, that she puked in the sink. And it was painful- I think my stomach made it up to my throat.

I was still gagging on my way to the subway, and waking up this morning, the queasiness hasn't left me.

moral of the story- use the men's bathroom if the woman before you shat her brains out. done and done.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The 3 rules of Gremlins: according to Rach

1. Don't feed 'em

2. Don't get 'em wet.

3. Don't fuck with 'em.

Friday, March 10, 2006

We be Clubbin' Y'all

Last night I attended a party honoring Debbie Harry for Blondie's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It was hosted by Marc Jacobs and was crawling with hipsters, fashionistas and club kids. The waiters were decked out in fishnets, converse, shorts, blondie t-shirts by Marc Jacobs and loads of eyeliner. They looked pretty awesome but I don't know how excited all the guys were to wear hoisery. And the rumor I heard was that they get to keep every part of their outfit except the fishnets. Hello ball sweat. The highlight of my evening was seeing former club icon Suzanne Barsch and her juicer dwarf of a husband ham it up on the red carpet. She was wearing 8 inch heels and a nude body stocking while he rocked lots of muscles and a mesh shirt. Nothing is more attractive than mesh - nothing. As pathetic as it sounds I was really only there cause I heard Lindsay Lohan was coming and that the gift bags were awesome. I wasn't disappointed on either count. L. Lo showed up with her 'handlers' posed for some shots and then disappeared into the depths of the VIP room. She looked pretty damn good - I dig her with the dark hair. The gift bags had lots of MJ swag including a full size cologne - first guy out there who asks for it can have it as I am flying solo these days (this is in no way an advertisement saying that I need a date - but I do - haha). My friend Sam helped style the event and has posted all about it on his blog:

Have a great weekend!


Mere: Fastest Man Alive/ Sound Team

Del: Rainbow Connection/ Kermit the Frog

Dane: Heart In A Cage/ The Strokes

Rach: I Pee On Girls/ R. Kelly

* Dana would like to comment that she was told that she resembles Nick from The Strokes today. Is that a compliment? She'd also like to say this is the first strokes song she's ever liked.

* and Dana would also like everyone to read this amazing dialogue.

A new TPM rule

Everyone should always drop f-bombs and talk about fisting bitches and if you're not into it, then we're not into you!!!!!